Blink wildly and then close your eyes really tight for an interesting light show
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out shapes and see if your subconscious is trying to send you a message (perhaps that funny shape is saying, 'send all your money to urban75.com'?)
See how long you can hold a note
(Amusement Potential: 4-20 minutes)
Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Play with a friend, or try to beat your own personal best. Inhale deeply and then try and make a noise for as long as you can. Earn extra points for making your partner laugh or ending on an amusing note.
Try to not think about penguins
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about penguins anyway.
Use your secret mind power
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Pick a passing by and try to use your mind power to command them do something, like drop their bag or knock into someone. The law of averages dictates that sooner or later one of your mind commands will come true, so you can convince yourself that you really have super human powers and waste even more time trying them out.
Pretend you're a robot
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Walk down the street with mechanical movements, adding 'zzzzzt' sounds with each motion. Pretending to have a motor broken in, say, your left hand can add at least 30 seconds more entertainment.
Scratch yourself
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Go ahead, scratch yourself now. Even if nothing itches, go ahead. Doesn't that feel pretty good?
Rate passers by
(Amusement Potential: 10-15 minutes)
Secretly award passers by marks out of ten as you go along, offering (unsaid) expert criticism over their clothing, hairstyle and footwear choices.
Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Pick a random word out of a magazine and say it aloud to yourself until it becomes a meaningless set of noises.
Pinch yourself
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
What is pain? Why is it unpleasant? There's nothing physical about it - it's all in your mind. Plus, after pinching yourself for awhile, boredom will seem nice next to being in pain.
Try to swallow your tongue
(Amusement Potential: 1-2 minutes)
There's not much to say about this one. It is possible, but really stupid.
Pretend to be a car
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Make appropriate revving noises in your head as you walk along and add a racing commentary as you pass strangers in the street. Use blinking eyes as indicators for extra authenticity.
Make Star Trek door noises
(Amusement Potential: 1-2 minutes)
Stand by an electric door to a bank or something and make that silly "Scccccccchwop" sound heard whenever people popped on to the bridge to hang with Captain Kirk.
Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, study after image
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
Another great time waster. It takes about 30 seconds of staring to create an after image, and the image is then viewable for about the same length of time. Fun to combine this one with pushing on your eyes.
Get yourself as nauseated as possible
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Best achieved by looking straight up and spinning around. Try to be so dizzy you can't even stand up. This is also entertaining due to the "makes boredom seem a lot better" effect (see "Hurt Yourself").
Invent a weird twitch
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Adopt a bizarre twitch (e.g. flicking your head irregularly, twitching with eye or busting out sporadic cough noises) and try it out when you go shopping.
Make a low buzzing noise
(Amusement Potential: 15-30 minutes)
Hours of fun in libraries! Keeping a totally straight face and looking nonchalant, make a low pitch humming/buzzing noise and see who reacts.
I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone.
Wednesday 24 March 2010
Five-Step Guide to Flirting Better
The essential problem remains - for you, flirting has to end with sex! Unfortunately, women - especially smart, beautiful and successful ones - flirt for harmless fun without expecting sex. Don't worry because evolutionary psychologists are doing that for you. Just know that flirting is man's way of engaging pleasurably with a member of the opposite sex and women flirt as a way of checking you out without compromising themselves. While men use flirting to initiate sex, you can appear like a sex starved sociopath unless you...
Maintain minimal contact: If you overdo your physically-touching bit, you'll just scare her away! Keep the physical bits zipped to pulling a chair out for her at a bistro, allowing her to go first for everything and hailing a cab. That way she can trust that you're patient and a gentleman (really?).
Read on for more...
Relax the Salman bit: You may be well endowed and have six pack abs, but there is a danger that you appear like a Salman Khan type who's careless with women. She'll think of you as a guy who flirts for sport and enjoys the thrill of a lucky wild night. May seem macho to you, but women don't always dig it.
Choose Confidence: You may be the guy who's dark and brooding in a corner because you want to appear like Ajay Devgan... all strong and silent. But this doesn't always work. Unless you're acting in a movie or a very serious play! You'll seem like a stalker who's jealous and lacking self-confidence! Enjoy the time you get to flirt and use it wisely!
Control Flirting: It's like flight control except here, you've to concentrate on a choice instead of seeming like a womanizer. Focus on the girl at hand and move on if doesn't work out. Remember, women are extremely wary of men whom they've seen talking to other women! Catch the drift?
Ease up on the Tech: You have text, e-mail and messenger and Facebook to flirt but if you're not a wordsmith (whom no one cares for in the online world) then you're a digital pirate whose trigger is pulled by the woman in question! Best practice-think about your messages before sending them! If they sound weird while you read them, they ARE weird! Edit like Shakespeare if necessary.
Maintain minimal contact: If you overdo your physically-touching bit, you'll just scare her away! Keep the physical bits zipped to pulling a chair out for her at a bistro, allowing her to go first for everything and hailing a cab. That way she can trust that you're patient and a gentleman (really?).
Read on for more...
Relax the Salman bit: You may be well endowed and have six pack abs, but there is a danger that you appear like a Salman Khan type who's careless with women. She'll think of you as a guy who flirts for sport and enjoys the thrill of a lucky wild night. May seem macho to you, but women don't always dig it.
Choose Confidence: You may be the guy who's dark and brooding in a corner because you want to appear like Ajay Devgan... all strong and silent. But this doesn't always work. Unless you're acting in a movie or a very serious play! You'll seem like a stalker who's jealous and lacking self-confidence! Enjoy the time you get to flirt and use it wisely!
Control Flirting: It's like flight control except here, you've to concentrate on a choice instead of seeming like a womanizer. Focus on the girl at hand and move on if doesn't work out. Remember, women are extremely wary of men whom they've seen talking to other women! Catch the drift?
Ease up on the Tech: You have text, e-mail and messenger and Facebook to flirt but if you're not a wordsmith (whom no one cares for in the online world) then you're a digital pirate whose trigger is pulled by the woman in question! Best practice-think about your messages before sending them! If they sound weird while you read them, they ARE weird! Edit like Shakespeare if necessary.
6 Reasons Men Have Sex (Besides the Obvious)
So there's a new book out called Why Women Have Sex, because for years no one's been able to crack that tough nut of a question and it's been bugging all of mankind. While the authors continue researching the sequel ("Why Kids Are Short") we thought it would be helpful to delve into the whole aspect of this topic that they missed, namely why men have sex.
Obviously there's one pretty big reason why men and women have sex, but surely there are other reasons for doing the deed, at least once in a while.
Headache Relief
For ages, the popular hack comedy line of "not tonight, I have a headache" was all over the place as a reason the ladyfolk were not interested in coitus. Men never said that, the reason being if we have a headache, we still want sex. Research even supports the notion that sex can cure headaches. (One of our editors even swears by a good roll in the hay as a hangover cure.)
Stress Relief
Being a dude can be stressful. We're constantly bogged down by the fear that at any moment some stray football will hit us in the nuts. Plus there's work, money, family, friends, zombie apocalypses ... all kinds of things that cause undue amounts of stress. Fortunately, sex is here to fix that as well. Regular sex flushes your system with oxytocin, which tells your whole body just to chill out.
Sleep Aid
Some nights hitting the hay just isn't easy. The neighbor's dog is barking, the bathroom faucet is leaking, you're worried about how work is affecting your progress in "Halo" .... Fortunately, every guy learned sometime in their teen years that after you get off, taking a nap totally feels like a good idea. Sex really makes you sleepy; it's like nature's way of saying, "Good job, now rest up for next time."
Cancer Prevention
According to actual research done on the topic, guys who get off more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life, and the benefits seem to be reaped from increased activity in your younger years. The research itself supports the idea of doing it yourself, as sex with a partner has the complication of potential STDs, but one has to assume that if precautions are taken, the same theory applies.
To End a Fight
By now we should all know about make-up sex. It's what happens when you're riding high on emotion and decide you need to bury the hatchet, so to speak, and simply end the argument. Sure, you may not be getting a "Star Wars"-themed bedroom set, but everyone's still happy. Expressing feelings is tough at the best of times, and whether you're wrong or you're right, sometimes it's just easier to say you're sorry by doing the deed than by, you know, actually saying it.
Focus
In an ironic twist of fate, sex distracts from many things and many things distract from sex. Nothing is more annoying than not being able to keep your mind on the task at hand simply because your pants are tenting. In cases like this, self-control is an option, but a superior option is to simply get the job done. Once you've had sex, you're relaxed, you're clearheaded, and you're ready to buckle down and do what you need to do. Kind of like a colonic for your brain.
What other unconventional reasons do you have for getting it on?
Obviously there's one pretty big reason why men and women have sex, but surely there are other reasons for doing the deed, at least once in a while.
Headache Relief
For ages, the popular hack comedy line of "not tonight, I have a headache" was all over the place as a reason the ladyfolk were not interested in coitus. Men never said that, the reason being if we have a headache, we still want sex. Research even supports the notion that sex can cure headaches. (One of our editors even swears by a good roll in the hay as a hangover cure.)
Stress Relief
Being a dude can be stressful. We're constantly bogged down by the fear that at any moment some stray football will hit us in the nuts. Plus there's work, money, family, friends, zombie apocalypses ... all kinds of things that cause undue amounts of stress. Fortunately, sex is here to fix that as well. Regular sex flushes your system with oxytocin, which tells your whole body just to chill out.
Sleep Aid
Some nights hitting the hay just isn't easy. The neighbor's dog is barking, the bathroom faucet is leaking, you're worried about how work is affecting your progress in "Halo" .... Fortunately, every guy learned sometime in their teen years that after you get off, taking a nap totally feels like a good idea. Sex really makes you sleepy; it's like nature's way of saying, "Good job, now rest up for next time."
Cancer Prevention
According to actual research done on the topic, guys who get off more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life, and the benefits seem to be reaped from increased activity in your younger years. The research itself supports the idea of doing it yourself, as sex with a partner has the complication of potential STDs, but one has to assume that if precautions are taken, the same theory applies.
To End a Fight
By now we should all know about make-up sex. It's what happens when you're riding high on emotion and decide you need to bury the hatchet, so to speak, and simply end the argument. Sure, you may not be getting a "Star Wars"-themed bedroom set, but everyone's still happy. Expressing feelings is tough at the best of times, and whether you're wrong or you're right, sometimes it's just easier to say you're sorry by doing the deed than by, you know, actually saying it.
Focus
In an ironic twist of fate, sex distracts from many things and many things distract from sex. Nothing is more annoying than not being able to keep your mind on the task at hand simply because your pants are tenting. In cases like this, self-control is an option, but a superior option is to simply get the job done. Once you've had sex, you're relaxed, you're clearheaded, and you're ready to buckle down and do what you need to do. Kind of like a colonic for your brain.
What other unconventional reasons do you have for getting it on?
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